Denver I love you, but you’re freaking me out.

4 May

Wow. So I know I’ve said this before, but I really am terrible at blogging. My last post was in, what, November? Unacceptable. I would fire myself if I could find someone else who sounded like me to keep this pitiful excuse for a blog going. Be assured, fair reader, that I am slapping myself on the wrist even as I write this.

So, news. I’m not bothering with old news, because, well, it’s old and if you’re reading this, you’ve probably already heard all about it. So, new news.

I am moving to Washington at the end of summer.

“But Caitlyn,” You’re surely saying to yourself in shocked tones, “Why would you leave? Aren’t you the one always talking about how much you love Denver? Weren’t you just talking about how stoked you are that your parents live here now? Isn’t your brother moving to Denver this summer? What the fuck?”

And this is the point in the conversation where I press your sweet little head, precious lower lip all a-quiver, into my bosom and say, “Shhh”.

I do love Denver. I always will. But I need out for a while. So, without further ado, I present the motivating factors behind this possibly-harebrained scheme of mine:

1) I have lived in Denver for 7 years. I have lived in Colorado for 14. That’s a really long fucking time.

2) I’m planning on going to grad school some time in the near future. I will not be applying anywhere in Colorado. If I move now, I can establish residency, therefore avoiding being face fucked with the engorged cock of out-of-state tuition.

3) Spokane is insanely cheap.

4) I have people there.

So yes, I love Denver. It will always be my home, but if I don’t leave now, it’s going to turn into a bad ex-boyfriend. So I’m making the mature decision to leave before we hate each other and get in a custody fight over the couch.

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