Archive by Author

I’m probably taking this too far. Whatever.

28 Jan

I started a new blog here: http://terriblewritingprompts.tumblr.com/

It’s all terrible writing prompts. You probably guessed that from the url, because you’re not an idiot. Good job on that! Now go follow me.

A blizzard, a biblioburro, and beauty secrets

2 May

I had this ready to go yesterday and then my silly mother called to tell me that she’d locked her keys in her car and that she was now stuck at work. With my dad out of town and my baby brother sans automobile, I was the only one who could come to her rescue. She works about half an hour east of my work. She lives about half an hour west of where I work. I got a little frazzled, and rushed off to be a good daughter, forgetting to post this. Whoops.

1. Same-sex civil unions are now legally recognized in Colorado! Fuck yeah!

2. Big Harp

3. Really awesome friends who live far away, but it doesn’t even matter because you can still talk to them on the phone for hours at a time, and you’ve never been to Washington D.C. so now you have a reason to visit.

4. The Biblioburro

5. This lipstick/stain stuff. It’s seriously the best, even if all the colors have vom-inducing names like “Smitten” and “Lovesick”. Maybe I can get a side-job making up better lipstick names. “Cheaper than new clothes”, “Have you been crying?”, “Winter chapping”…maybe not.

6. Sweater tights (it’s fucking blizzarding here. Again.)

7. I’m auditioning for my first play in nine years tonight, and it’s cold-read only.

8. I’m actually getting busy at work again (this makes the day go soooooo much faster).

9. When I finally get internet at home again, I’m going to have, like, a million hours of Game of Thrones and Doctor Who to catch up on.

10. Less than a month until new episodes of Arrested Development!

Aside

Just under the wire.

30 Apr

Double post day! You’re welcome. And I actually have some lengthier posts in the works, so you might actually be treated (subjected?) to something besides lists! That is maybe exciting to some of you!

Speaking of some of you, I apparently have some new readers/followers/commenters! That’s pretty exciting! Welcome to the blog! My name’s Caitlyn, and this is where I write about…things. And stuff. I will probably never post naked selfies here. Probably.

Today, I am grateful for the following:

1. It is possible that will get a promotion in the next couple of months (it’s still veeeeeeery tentative, but also exciting!)

2. I had shin ramyun (which I’m pretty sure translates to “the best ramen that will set your face on fire”) for lunch, and it tried to (deliciously) burn my mouth off, causing me to super-hydrate!

3. I discovered this new webcomic and don’t want to do anything besides read it all the time forever. I have recently become busty and it’s just spot-on.

4. I actually work with some very nice people, who are good at replenishing the candy bowls on their desks. 

5. The shirt I wanted to wear this morning was already ironed. For once, past-Caitlyn wasn’t an asshole!

6. My hair is being surprisingly cooperative today.

7. My apartment is really starting to feel like home.

8. I am actually caught up on work for once (this is what happens when I do work before I get sucked into the black hole of cat memes).

9. I have a bunch of blog post ideas that I’m actually really stoked on.

10. I am looking forward.

How’s your Tuesday, dear reader?

 

A case of the Mondays

30 Apr

So far the trickiest part of these gratitude posts has been coming up with non-lame post titles. I’d say I’m about 50/50 right now. I know it’s Tuesday, but here’s what was awesome about yesterday:

1. Dinner with my baby broski (he makes really awesome music, which you should go listen to immediately.)

2. Curry-apple-veggie meatloaf

3. Arrested Development (sooooo close to getting new episodes!)

4. Christopher Moore (currently re-reading Bloodsucking Fiends after snagging a copy at my local ARC)

5. Flowy skirts on freshly-shaved legs (especially when it’s my first leg-shave in months)

6. Dogger walks

7. Gorgeous weather (even once it started getting dark!)

8. Yarn

9. Neutral Milk Hotel is reuniting for a (very limited) tour!

10. And Daniel Johnston is opening the Asheville show! This probably means I need to take a trip to N.C.

Weekend catch-up!

29 Apr

You guuuuuys, this weekend was pretty awesome! The weather finally stopped being shitty for a minute, and all the snow melted (don’t worry, we’re supposed to get more on Wednesday). Here’s a round-up of what I was so very thankful for:

1. Mom hangouts

2. Mani/pedis

3. Maxi dresses that don’t require the use of a strapless bra to keep my boobs from going on adventures

4. White wine and pizza

5. Sunshine!

6. It’s actually light out past 6:00 now!

7. My dog actually lets me sleep in

8. Sleeping in

9. French press coffee

10. The Avengers! (You don’t even want to know how many times I’ve watched it this week.)

11. Lady Lamb the Beekeeper (I am completely obsessed with her right now.)

12. Sunday funday (It’s hard to hate Sundays when you spend all day park-hopping.)

13. New blog followers (hello, you)

14. This web comic

15. Also, this one

16. Hard cider

17. Temperatures above 60 degrees!

18. Impromptu picnics

19. Meeting new people when I really need to expand my social circle

20. Puppy love Image

The atheist and the bear or, why I don’t think my family will be sending me passive aggressive emails about my (non) religious beliefs anymore.

26 Apr

I am an atheist. I have been for a long time. My family knows this, and for the most part, they just kind of leave it alone. However, my dad just sent me the following email (complete with giant multi-colored text and photos of bears) with the subject line: “This is good stuff!”

An atheist was walking through the woods.
“What majestic trees!”
“What powerful rivers!”
“What beautiful animals!”
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

 He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

 At that instant the atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.


As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. “You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”
The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?”

“Very well,” said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

“Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.”

 

I love my dad. We actually get along better now than we ever have before. But this kind of shit still annoys me. “Oh look, when it comes down to it, the things you believe are wrong, and your faith in them will never be as strong as mine.” He probably doesn’t think of it like this, he probably sees it as harmless ribbing. But if I decided to convert to Islam, would I be on the receiving end of anti-Islam jokes? Would he send me anti-Semitic “joke” emails if I started going to temple? Or is it alright as long as I believe in something? Maybe I’m taking this too seriously.

But I sent him something back:

An atheist was walking through the woods.
“What majestic trees!”
“What powerful rivers!”
“What beautiful animals!”
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

However, instead of running like a fucking idiot, he stood his ground, avoided direct eye contact, and spoke in a soft monotone. When the bear continued to charge, he curled up on his side and played dead. Though injured, he was left alive, and able to hike out of the woods for help and medical treatment. When the doctor asked if faith had saved him, he said “Yes, faith that spending my Sunday mornings watching nature documentaries on PBS is a much better use of my time than going to church, where they teach you that having imaginary friends and drinking before noon are acceptable adult activities.”

Maybe I do need Jesus Christ in my life. He seems like he’d be a hoot at parties.

Thursday, belated

26 Apr

Thursday was better. Here’s what made it so:

1. Brunch with one of my best gal pals

2. Salmon eggs benedict

3. Bottomless (3) mimosas

4. Personal day (decided upon before bottomless mimosa-consumption)

5. Finally saw the Perks of Being a Wallflower (it’s sooooo good!)

6. I made delicious mini-meatloaf muffins (gluten-free with apples and mushrooms and squash)

7. David helped me kill some orcs

8. I did not cry, and as a result, my eyelids are not ridiculously swollen.

9. I re-watched The Royal Tenenbaums for the first time in several years. It is still completely amazing.

10. This lady sent me a really wonderful email (technically she sent it on Wednesday, but I was still grateful for it and reread it yesterday).