Tag Archives: readers

Fabulous prizes!

5 Jan

Exciting news, people! Yesterday, I hit my all-time high for blog views! Someone’s actually reading this!
To ensure that the internet continues to pay attention to me, I’m bribing you, dear reader. Who are you? What are your feelings on soup? Is your hair supposed to look like that? I want to know you. I want to spoon you. So, first five readers to comment on this post will win…
What kind of prizes you ask, eyes growing large and dewy? Well preciouses, it’s a surprise. Maybe naked pictures of me, maybe one of the numerous paintings I’ve done of cephalopods, maybe some of my hair taped to the inside of an envelope. Rest assured that, whatever it is, it’ll make you feel the same way you would if I snuck up behind you on the bus and started mouth-breathing in your ear.